Learn a few key phrases of the language of the country you’re visiting. Know what their police force equivalent of “Freeze!” is.

Don’t over-pack! Leave space in your suitcase for souvenirs. Swiss chocolate and Limoncello are very tempting!

Keep a travel journal so you can share details of your trip with friends down the road.

Eliminate pocket fishing at airport security by putting everything in your jacket and nothing in your pants first thing in the morning. Pack your belt in the carryon. Wear loafers.

Yes, there’s definitely time for a nap. Isn’t there always? Just get up a bit earlier.

Select the red-eye flight to shave a night—or two—of hotel rooms off the bill.

Sometimes saying “make it a double, please” just feels really right.

A travel steamer will save you from cursing at the seen-better-days iron and ironing board in the hotel-room closet.

The sweet spot for buying a domestic plane ticket is 55 days in advance.

The best day to fly? Tuesday, because there is less demand for seats and the prices are lower.

There’s a spa out there with your name on it.

Skip expensive hotel laundry service and Google the nearest laundromat instead. (Bonus: You can pack lighter.)

Never ever touch the mini bar. Unless you really, really want to.

Keep travel expenses down by opting for street fare. Some cities have the best food trucks.

You don’t have to sleep at fancy hotels to enjoy them. Pop by for a drink at cocktail hour.

Do you think you will enjoy high tea? Of course you will!

Some hotels let you hang out at their pool for a small fee, especially in areas with a high density of tourists.

People-watching cures travel boredom instantly. And it’s free!

Don’t be an asshole. Similarly, don’t call out others for being assholes, because you never know if they may be dangerous.

Be kind to animals abroad. They may not have the best life.

Never take photographs of children unless you ask the parents first.

Beat jetlag by conditioning yourself to your destination’s time as quickly as possible upon landing. If it’s midnight, go to bed (maybe with a pill). If it’s morning, have breakfast.

If you ever find yourself feeling superior to someone who doesn’t speak English, fuck yourself off.

Driving in a foreign land? Never take your eyes off the road.

It’s OK to just stand and stare at how beautiful something is for a few minutes.

No bat-eating. Also, don’t eat anything that isn’t already dead. Except yogurt and kimchi, etc.

Ask your doctor about free travel inoculations before you pay money at a travel clinic.

Pack Tylenol 3s. You don’t need to pay a doctor to tell you you’ve sprained your ankle.

Spring for the upgrade. Your credit card will never know the difference.

Dukoral really works. That said, always pack anti-diarrhea medications and carry them on the plane.

Don’t hang your purses on the restaurant chair back.

Stop worrying about the kids. And you don’t have to call them every other day, either.

You deserve those little lacy mats they put on the floor at turn-down.

Never pack anything you would be devastated to lose or have stolen.

The moment you see an airline offering a sale, wait until the next afternoon to hunt for a fare, because all the airline’s competitors will be trying to match the previous day’s sale price.

Sometimes you just have to have lunch twice.

Always travel with a small amount of the currency of the country you’re visiting. What if there’s no bank machine at the airport or the exchange kiosk is closed?

The travel agent is right. You’ll be way more comfortable in first class.

Choose a destination according to your passions—a food tour in France, a soccer tournament in Barcelona, camping in Switzerland.